December 2019 Student Spotlight: Ashley Casillas Rodriguez
Ashley Casillas Rodriguez moved two years ago from Puerto Rico to Rochester, and now lives with her partner and their animals. One of her goals was to attend college and become a health professional. She is a full-time student at MCC, and her major is Surgical Technician. In her story, she writes about surviving Hurricane Maria in Puerto Rico and describes how her life has changed since then.
We All Are Blooming Flowers
When I moved to Rochester, New York at the age of twenty-four I wasn’t so thrilled. It is very cold during the wintertime. It makes your bones hurt and your lips crack. We spent many months without feeling the warmth of the sun. We could see it, but we couldn’t feel it. “What are you supposed to do Ashley?” I asked myself a million times. This city is completely different from the sunny sky I was used to seeing with the green enormous mountains and the salty smell of the air. I felt lost and unsettled. When you realize how rapidly life can change, it is frightening.
When we first arrived, I would lie down in my little sister’s bed and remember what happened only a few weeks earlier. Those fresh memories were haunting me. I was dealing with the most horrifying experience of my life. A gigantic hurricane hit my little paradise—my tiny island, my home—and destroyed it. Hurricane Maria was a category five hurricane monster with 200 mph winds.
Our house was flooded and we had to stay outside. I saw wood houses flying, the ocean covering the streets like a river, and other things that would break anyone’s heart. We couldn’t hear each other. I was trying to get my friend’s attention, so I started screaming and moving my hands. “Carlos looked at that!” I shouted. He looked where I pointed. He opened his mouth and looked at me shocked. It was a tornado. I couldn’t believe it! It was the first time I watched a tornado in real life. He came closer and whispered in my ear, “What’s happening? We don’t have those here.” I whispered back, “I know. I have only see them in movies or videos.”
After twelve hours, I couldn’t deal with the sound of the winds. It was like a strong whistle accompanied by a strange force that could blow you away. That strange and powerful force gave me goosebumps during all those hours, until finally, it was all over. Then everything looked like someone threw a bomb from the sky. Silence came first, sorrow and shock after; then all the emotions showed up and they couldn’t be restrained any more. You could see the pain and anguish in everyone's faces. The tears were mixed with the water since it was still raining. People sobbed, mothers tried to calm their children, and I… I had my heart broken. I felt like I was drowning slowly. Every time I looked to the other side of the road or to the mountains, I felt a sharp pain right in my heart. “There are no trees!” I shortly said, but words didn’t come so easily out of people’s mouths. I sat down on the wet pavement and cried for hours.
A few weeks later, I realized that it was time for a new adventure. I wasn’t completely sure, but I talked with my Dad, who’d been living for twenty-two years in Rochester. “Dad, it is time for me to leave home and start in a new environment.” He agreed and sent me a plane ticket. He understood that I was losing myself and I was suffering too much.
I moved to this new city with the sunshine inside me, but very scared of the changes. I was completely out of my comfort zone. For a moment, I doubted my decision to move away. The first three months were the hardest. I missed my grandma, my best friend, the food, all my family, my pets, the beach with the most beautiful sunsets, and the beautiful green mountains. I missed the beauty of that paradise with all my heart. I wanted to eat fruits that I couldn’t find here. I wanted to swim in the salty waters and feel the heat of the sun on my skin. Everything seemed too gray, cold, and boring for me. I needed more stimulation.
Little by little, I started adjusting. I found some Hispanic restaurants with very similar flavors to home. I went to visit the lakes and falls around the area. After five months at my job as a kennel attendant, I was offered a supervisor position. My new life has begun with half of my heart is here and the other half is one thousand eight hundred thirty-eight miles away. I’ve met great people, made friends, and discovered new food like Thai food. I have visited new places like Pennsylvania and Canada, but most importantly, this city brought me something that I didn’t have before. It is true, real, compassionate, honest, and pure love. What a blessing! I got out of my comfort zone just to find endless happiness with someone who cares about me in a very delicate and special manner. After all, yes, the hurricane was the worst experience ever. It separated me from my family and everything I knew, but it made me realize how blessed I am. It made me become a more compassionate and grateful human being.
One day my Dad said, “You have bloomed. Look at you. You shine.” I giggled and my cheeks turned red. Deep inside of me, I knew he was right. My grandma used to say, “Time heals all the wounds,” and boy oh boy, she was right. It is not that you forgot what happened, you just learn how to live with it and move on. Hurricane Maria will be forever in my memories and I will never forget where I came from. Like a flower after the dark days, I have bloomed. I found the sun and the breeze. I found fertile land. Now, I feel my roots expanding and reaching for what I once thought was unattainable.
ESOL Voices is a collection of stories written by ESOL students at Monroe Community College. This publication highlights our MCC students who come from all over the world. Look for new stories three times each semester. We hope you enjoy our students’ stories as much as we do.
— Katie Leite & Pamela Fornieri, ESOL Program, December 2019